I hate running.
Ok, that’s pushing it, but I don’t love running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I love it for the last few miles of a good half marathon or marathon for instance. I absolutely dig it when I have a surprisingly strong training run. I like getting on the track for speed work, and that’s just masochistic so I don’t know what the hell is up with that.
Most of the time though, I don’t really love running. I don’t look forward to most of my runs, particularly in cold weather – once I’ve had enough for the winter, good luck getting me enthused again (I’m clearly at that point this year). Actually, come to think of it, it’s that I don’t love running enough. If I’m at the top of my game I like it plenty. It’s just when it becomes a slog or even worse a chore; I hate it passionately.
To be honest with you, this is not so unusual for me. I’m a total misanthrope when it comes to love, by which I mean I’m not so good at the unconditional. This applies to running obviously, but people too. Also baseball, most television shows, cooking, posting on foursquare, driving-flying-and training – well travel in general, cats, various parliamentary procedures, drinking, and nuts. I love the smell of roasted nuts but hate the texture of them when they crunch in my mouth. That really bugs me. I wish that I loved running unconditionally, or at least the way a desperate woman loves a no good alcoholic. I’m a bit of a misogynist too by the way.
Generally, what I like is the poetry and the simple beauty of things. I read things like “Once A Runner” and I get that. It’s schmaltzy but true. I buy into what Annie and Crash are talking about in Bull Durham too. To my discredit, I think “Pump Up The Volume” is an incredible movie, because of the way it anticipated the zeitgeist of the internet and spoke so plainly about our needs to express ourselves publically. I’ll pretty much do anything to get to those moments, they’re precious.
Still, what I’d really like is to take more joy in every step; to look forward to it more. I don’t know if I can ever be that person, but I’d like to be.
I hate running.
